Mirror, Mirror

I have just finished reading Fairest by Gail Carson Levine. It is a retelling of Snow White, Like Ella Enchanted is a retelling of Cinderella. Fun books, I highly recommend them. This book got me thinking, about beauty and the pursuit thereof.

Strange as it may sound but I never really put much thought into whether or not I was good looking until I was in my 20s. While I was in school most of my doubts and fears were in regards to my intelligence and personality, I somehow managed to miss the appearance based crisis. Probably because I was such a complete social outcast, that my peers had no chance give me doubts. My family never really gave me much in the way of praise, and what criticism I got was not about looks.

After careful thought I have decided that I was, and am, passably pretty. Not ravishing by any means, but passable. I have decided this based on a few experiences. The most vivid in my mind happened in my junior High School Dance class, one day a group of girls approached me and one of them told me that she liked how I had done my make-up that day. Being the naive twit that I was, I said thanks but I am not wearing any. I never do, it is too much bother. Naturally, they didn't try making friends again. My second most memorable is from my high school art class. The teacher would sometimes do caricatures, and I asked if he would do mine, and his response puzzled me, still does. he said that he wouldn't do it and explained that caricatures pick out a certain prominent feature and exaggerate it. (Not his exact word but I can't remember them.) I just shrugged it off at the time, but I still wonder if he thought my fragile ego couldn't take it or if there was nothing to make fun of... The final, is not an incident so much as a lack thereof. I was never, not once asked out on a date during all of high school. Asked out once during junior high and I turned the poor kid down because I was too young. (Couldn't date until I was 16) At college I had two guys ask me out, but only because I had asked them out first. There is also the dubious addition of Psycho Boy, but I don't really count him since first, he was Psycho and second I was hos 13th choice for that particular dance. (NEVER tell a girl that she is your second choice, let alone 13th)

So in conclusion, I am not ugly because no one ever told me I was. Kids can be very cruel, and if they had seen something to make fun of they would have, I was an easy mark. I am at least passably pretty since some people thought I was wearing make-up when I wasn't. I am not gorgeous otherwise someone would have asked me out, at least once.

The only reason why I started trying to puzzle all this out is because I have a daughter now, and I want her to have a better image of herself then I ever did. I want her to have better habits and more opportunities to learn. I do not want her to have a bunch of challenges because of her opinion of herself. But I think she needs to have an opinion, I never did.