Romance, revisited

K, so I have never thought I was into romances. Yes, there were romantic themes in a lot of books and movies I like, but they are only a part of the whole. Yet, I keep writing about them. Puzzling, puzzling

I lump romantic fiction into three broad categories.

In Cinderella, a man meets a woman once (Actually in the old story it is three times) and finds her so irresistible that he scours the land in a quest to find her, and when he does she is a servant in someones home. Doesn't matter, he risks everything to marry her anyway. Pride and Prejudice is similar, he meets her a few times, gets to know her and wants her even though she is so much lower in riches and rank. She rebukes him, they both learn humility and wind up happily together in the end. Honestly most romantic themes fall loosely into this category. love at first sight, or after a brief relationship. One or both of them need to learn more about themselves, and make a great sacrifice so they can be together. There is, of course, the reverse of this category. The girl falls for the guy and does everything she can to win him. But it is so common it is hard to think of just one example.

Sleeping Beauty, he has never even seen the girl, she has been asleep for 100 years. But there is something so special so compelling about her that he will go on a quest to find her. Snow white is similar in theme, he sees her once, after she is asleep, and has to have her, then once she wakes up he marries her in direct challenge to her old kingdom. This is pure romance. There is something so special so wonderful about this girl that he will make any sacrifice, make any changes, go to any lengths he needs to to get her. There is the dark variation of this theme, the idea of he wants her he has to have her so he takes her, against her will. Either she is overcome by that level of devotion or she is rescued and it goes back to the original theme. The reverse is typified by The Little Mermaid, she sees him once, never even talks to the guy, but sacrifices everything to be with him, and even then, he does not see her that way so she sacrifices her very life to make way for him to be happy.

In Beauty and the Beast, he changes and becomes humble and kind, all because she is so wonderful, he will change his very nature to become what she needs him to be. Or at least this is how it is in some versions. Some versions the long transformation changed him and she just needs to see the wonderful man hiding under the shaggy coat of the beast, also typified by the Frog Price. The old theme of a troubled soul with a good heart, who is reformed through love of a virtuous woman. More women come to trouble through this idea of romance than any other. In real life, the man usually just pretends to be reformed so he can get into her pants. But we are talking about romantic fiction here, and it is a very common theme. Twilight falls into this category in that, a "man" will deny his essence his deepest nature, because the woman is so wonderful, so compelling, he will do everything he has to in order to be with her. Strangely Twilight is also the reverse, where she gives up her humanity to be with him. But my favorite example of the reverse is Howl's Moving Castle. He falls in love with her while she is under a spell as a wrinkled old woman.

In the end, it all comes down to the denying of self because of another person. . That you can love someone enough to deny your base nature and selfish desires for riches, position, comfort, whatever, and become whatever that other person needs you to be. (True Love is not one sided, the other person is denying and changing and sacrificing just as much.)